Minivan Messes

View Original

It’s Not You, It’s Me: Breaking Up With Friends

Why aren’t friendship breakups more acceptable? I mean most friendships are basically like a romantic relationship, usually without the physical intimacy. You spend time together, go on dates, tell each other secrets, lend a helping hand or a listening ear when needed, all those things. But for some reason, when a friendship stays toxic, we seem to stick around longer than we should.

Turning toxic doesn’t mean one person has done something terrible or there has been some fight, it could just mean that you have outgrown each other, outgrown the friendship.

Major life events will often do this to a friendship. Something monumental taking place in ones life can really open their eyes on what their priorities are or what they believe to be right and wrong. And after these monumental life events, your perspective may change, leaving you in a friendship that your wants and needs just don’t align with anymore.

I feel like lifelong friendships are similar to lifelong monogomay: FUCKING WORK!!!! But just like you have to want to put in the effort with a spouse, the effort is still needed in your friendships. So what do you do when you aren’t willing to put in that effort anymore? How do you say “it’s not you, it’s me”, without sounding so cliche? Is there a Friendship Breakup for Dummies floating around out there that will walk you through the steps of backing out of a friendship that no longer serves your heart?