Do Unto Others

A lot of times in life you hear “Treat people how you want to be treated”. But when do we ever say to treat yourself as good as you treat others?

Lately I have been going to group therapy (I’ll write about that once it is over), and something that has come up several times is self-compassion.

Y’all………that is like a cuss word to me. I completely suck at self-compassion but I would say when it comes to others, I am very compassionate.

So how do we take all of that love and care that we shows to others and turn it inward on ourself? Especially without feeling guilt or selfishness.

5 Ways to Show Self Compassion:

1. Treat yourself like you're your best friend (or your younger self)

2. Remember that everyone's thinking about you a lot less than you assume

3. Don’t believe everything you think

4. Feel your feelings

5. Practice mindfulness

Full article can be found here: https://www.hope-wellness.com/blog/5-ways-to-show-some-self-compassion

1. Okay, this makes sense. I am so careful when it comes to my friends and my kids, to try to keep their feelings in mind, take care of them, give them what they want and need when I can, be their advocate, be their cheerleader. So why the FUCK is it so hard for me to do all of those exact same things for myself? Because someone’s at some point in my life, sent the message to be that I don’t deserve those things and it has stuck.

2. This is one that I have actually made a ton of progress on, but I still have room to grow. The biggest hurdle I had in this area was thinking people were always judging my body. Being fat gets exhausting, I worry if I am dressed appropriately, even if I wear the same thing as a smaller person, it may look sloppy on me. But the truth is, nobody gives a shit what I am wearing on a regular basis and if they do, it’s not my business. MY BODY IS NO ONE ELSES BUSINESS and ANYONE ELSES OPINION IS NOT MY BUSINESS. Cheers to minding your own business and staying in your own lane.

3. Y’all, your brain can’t be trusted. She is a whole entire bitch. (Or he, or they) I was talking to one of my therapists today about how hard it is to change our thoughts, it’s much easier to change our actions. But our thoughts are like drilled deep down into our heads from childhood, so our reactions to certain things are immediate and instinctual. But they don’t have to be. Just like changing our actions, we can change our thoughts, I just think it takes a lot more time.

4. I am so trying to feel all of my feelings, as well as be able to identify them. I have a hard time sitting with uncomfortable feelings. I avoid things at all cost, sadness, fear, isolation, irritation, anger, sorrow, the best way I know to deal with them is to pretend like they don’t exist. One of my therapist gave me an Emotional Regulation Handout today that I will be carrying with me to work on my feelings and doing better with communicating them.

5. What even is mindfulness????

   Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention to the present. This state is described as observing one’s thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad. (Found this on psychology today.com)

For this I am just gonna copy and paste some suggestions because I am still working on this big time. (Found on mindful.org)